Boy, it’s been a while since I’ve checked in to the blog. To be honest, the holidays took hold and I found myself getting lazy with my nutrition. It’s funny – I really thought that after spending most of last year dropping weight and eating healthy, that the holidays wouldn’t have much of an effect on me. Man, was I ever WRONG! Just goes to prove that you can’t drop your guard ‘cuz there’s always gonna be something to tempt you to drop back into your lazy-ass, unhealthy routines.
Me, Self-Portrait
After I wrapped up P90X at the end of last October, I took a full two weeks off from exercising. I stayed solid with my nutrition, and then started rotating the P90X and P90X+ workouts about 3 – 4 days a week through Christmas. I originally intended to jump right back into Round 2 of P90X in November, but something happened around Halloween: tiny little pieces of candy started attacking me from all sides, and I found myself popping a few here and there. For the first few weeks it was OK – my energy wasn’t affected and I was able to maintain my weight and lean muscle.
But then Thanksgiving hit. At this point I was still eating my 5 healthy meals a day, and indulged at Thanksgiving dinner but didn’t stuff myself. Of course, I also found myself with leftover pie and cookies, which I continued to enjoy after my evening meals over the next few weeks.
Then Christmas came – by this time, though I was still exercising, I started adding in desserts after my dinner, almost every night. Now that I look back, I can remember how my body started craving sugar again. I realize now that what I thought was a little “sweet tooth” is actually a full-blown sugar addiction. The holidaze passed, and my workouts started suffering. The more sugar I ate, the more tired I started to feel, more often. I also noticed mood swings – nothing major, but I’m usually a level-headed guy with a pretty positive attitude in general. I started feeling frustrated at work, more angry at the crazy drivers on the road, and serious disappointment in myself for the path I was headed (again). Then the final straw: I started skipping workouts. Once I went down that road, it was all over.
By mid-January, I wasn’t exercising at all, but I was still eating the crap. In between my healthy meals (which now were down to 3-4 a day), I’d rip open a box of COOKIES (in particular, vanilla Oreos.) I don’t know why I focused on cookies – though I read something last month that suggests that cravings for crunchy things are an “external manifestation of stress”, particularly anger. Anger at myself for screwing up, when I KNEW I was capable of better. Don’t need a psychiatrist to figure THAT one out!
Anyway, it got to the point where I’d drop by the grocery store on the way home from work to pick up a box or two of cookies – and then finish off a whole box that same night. Sugar addiction ain’t pretty. In fact, I noticed that this is the worst it’s been, ever. Maybe my mind and body were getting back at me for staying on the high-protein low-carb regimen most of last year! Excuses, right?
So here I am now. After dropping over 30 pounds last year, I can pretty much guess that I’ve gained back at least 10-15 of those pounds as of today. The Size 32 jeans don’t fit (comfortably) anymore,and the size 33’s are even getting tight. I haven’t stepped on the scale – I’ve been afraid of what I’ll see!
But come this weekend, I’ll face the reality of the situation, weigh in, take some photos, pick my sorry ass up, and forge onward with a new plan in place. No use kicking myself and crying over what’s done. Where I am right now is what matters, and where I am now is STILL at a better point than where I was this time last year.
Back to P90X after a week or two of re-conditioning. Yep – P90X2 is right here in front of me, but I haven’t earned the right to start THAT program yet. Once more around with the original I think. Thanks for reading!
SavageMuscle: Fitness & Nutrition 
July 21st, 2012 → 1:44 pm
[…] been trying to figure out WHY I went off on that spastic ice cream-cookie binge in the first place. I’m thinking it may have been because I stayed on the […]